December 2009
52 posts
Adulthood is...
I passed out on my couch last night; reading Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire.
The most disgusting spice
Greg: i have a tip for you
buy a jar of herbs de provence
and then use them in everything
Matthew: alright
i'm headed to the grocery and it's on my list
[...later...]
ok, so what do i do with this stuff?
it smells like "italian spice mix"
Greg: grind it into powder
then smell it, and you'll know
Matthew: brb
son of a bitch!
you tricked me into buying lavender!!!
last time i trust you
Greg: it's barely in there
Matthew: it's EVERYWHERE!!!
I must have been
one of History’s stupidest...
Happy Birthday Anna! - from matthew.mp3
I went...
WatchBiz Markie - Just A Friend
Similar but different
So if you write about a semi-colon, Tumblr tags that post as “colonic.” Also, Google Alerts are weird.
WatchDany testing his webcam.
I don’t take my “owner of the largest collection of original art by Dany” title lying down.
I am thinking of you
on the train, my knees spread
around the long-legged woman
who faces me, repeating the conductor’s words
under her breath, only the sss-sound audible
like leaking air; the doorssss she says,
avoiding my eyes.
From “My lover should have been a mad woman” by Grace O’Connell
If I’ve ever told you a story about a farting girl at...
That’s the kinda shit I’m...
My Broken Pancreas →
The kitchen injury gave me a lot more free time over the holidays than planned, so I’ve been doing a bunch of rebranding/computer stuff. My Broken Pancreas is a blog about diabetes that I’ve finally given some TLC.
Most diabetes websites annoy me—they all seem to focus on community and resistance identities, or very touchy-feely stories about living as a diabetic. I’m sure a lot...
GMRT
“Du sanglier?”
“Non, j’ne mange que des légumes”...”
– Astérix et les Vikings (par Fred)
WatchAfter my kitchen accident, I headed to the Penthouse to see my friends/occasional bandmates, Two Apple Tobacco.
I amputated my distal fingertip (chopped off a...
Nurse: was it spurting?
Me: no... it was...
[makes unintelligible hand gestures]
Nurse: [fails to understand unintelligible hand gestures]
Me: pouring? It was pouring?
Nurse: oh good; you didn't nick the artery
Matthew: I'm eating a Grapple
so confused
Greg: its a grape flavoured apple?
Matthew: it sure is
Greg: those crazy mad scientists
if they can make an apple taste like grapes they can probably make apples taste like just about anything right?
Matthew: presumably
Greg: hamapple
Matthew: scallopple
Greg: crabapple :|
News 1130: Many homeless in Chilliwack being... →
blownspeakers:
Ted Stoker, director of Ruth and Naomi’s Mission, says someone has been paying to bus out homeless people from Vancouver. “They get a one-way ticket and then they’re stuck here. They’re not happy about it at all and neither are we, but what are you going to do? They’re trying to clean up the Vancouver area the best they can before the world comes here, which is sort of a sad...
deathbylandscape:
Eels - Christmas is Going to...
blownspeakers:
Someone just called the UBC Directory line to call in a bomb threat. I imagine it’s because it’s exam time and he wanted to weasel his way out of a test. Trouble is, instead of saying “there’s a bomb in X building,” he just said “I put two bombs on campus and they haven’t gone off.”
He also called from a cell phone.
Way to go, buddy, now you’re still going to fail your test and...
WatchThomas King at the Museum of Anthropology
Trivia:
Jordan is camera left
The next day, when Tom and I were hanging out (still the most awesome thing ever), he told me the bowling alley joke he tells here. Verbatim. Then he laughed at it. It’s nice to know that the people I look up to are as dorky as me.
Towards the end he tells a joke about diabetes. That cackle you hear in the background...
There's a complicated approval process
Travis: two and a half days till holidays
Matthew: !!!!
so exciting
i'm going to do so much nothing
Travis: i think i want to get a case of egg nog for next week
Matthew: make sure you pick up a vomit bucket, too
Travis: egg nog, ms vickies and put in the oven chicken wings
Matthew: gross
i'm going to just buy a ton of truffle oil and sustain myself that way
Travis: and you called mine gross?
what the hell is wrong with you?
Matthew: your's IS gross
Travis: that's what she said
FTW!
Matthew: lol
that was a good one
Travis: tumblr?
please
Matthew: what?
Travis: that convo
Matthew: oh
nah
Travis: or is that poor form?
Matthew: too gross
but maybe... hmmm
i think the grossness of egg nog and chicken, mixed with truffle oil, counteracts the grossness of the "that's what she said"
the most boring blog post ever
I think it’s important to note:
it was the first time I ever used an iPhone (to find Walmart)
it was first time I saw a Walmart in Vancouver
it was first time I voluntarily left Vancouver (but stayed in BC) for somewhere other than the airport or something touristy/nature-y
Natalie wrote the world’s most awkward text message to a boy she’s dating (who doesn’t know me):...
Canadian Literature #1 - #100 online as PDFs →
As a very prominent member of the academic open access movement told me: “once Canadian Literature does something, others follow.” I hope that’s the case here (exciting!!!)
WatchWhen I was little (6-7 years old), my favourite toy was a Fisher-Price tape recorder. My brother and I spent hours making up and recording little songs about our stuffed animals, dog, family, Lego/Construx creations, etc.
My “best” song was about my favourite stuffed animal: a small brown dog named Timbit. He had an alter ego, “The Weirdo”:
When the Weirdo goes walking...
Chatting with the editor
Me: I'm just really self-involved, ok?
Margery: you think you're the only one who's self-involved?
Breaking News: Folgers is NOT the best part of...
(via davidfuternick)
ryanedwardmiller:
Bruce Springsteen, “Janey...
WatchLarissa Lai reads “Rachel” from The Automaton Biographies at the Rhizome Café in Vancouver, BC
Dorky McFakeglasses on the right is Travis of “numerous chat posts on my Tumblr” fame.
Kevin Hearn & Thin Buckle -...